I just came up with an idea that is pure fucking genius. Well actually that’s a lie. Me and rummy (housemate no1) were sitting on the couch eating the Germans (housemate no 2) chocolate and she was all like, you should totes blog about this, and I was all like totes. Anyway it’s a very economical tip. Its called eating housemate’s chocolate. Even if you are slightly retarded or just bit of a dip shit in general, I am sure you can figure out where this is going. EAT YOUR HOUSEMATES CHOCOLATE.
But you can add to the shitness of this act 10 fold by following my lead. Heres an example of what I do. Recently, the German bought a packet of Lindt chocolate after I publicly shamed her on Facebook about eating a piece of mine. The German graciously replaced the missing chocolate, and then some. Not being content with that, me and rummy found the remaining chocolate that she has rather unskilfully hid on her pantry shelf. Firstly we ate only one piece each, which would be easily over looked by the German. Then we realised that one was not enough because we are giant chocolate whores, so we ate the rest. To really top off our awesomeness we put ALL the wrappers back in the packet. Then put the packet back on her shelf. You might think, wow you guys sound like cunt’s, and you might be on to something there, but WE ate the chocolate and YOU did not! AND FUCK IT WAS GOOD! I highly recommend having a partner in crime for this. Not only is there safety in numbers, it also makes it more fun. It’s very common in our house that we combine forces like a really shit, no budget version of the power rangers and sniff out the chocolate together.
However be warned that this has a down side. Once you set up a precedence for eating your housemates chocolate, it’s more than likely they will start eating yours. I find its takes about an hour after I bring chocolate into the house before rummy is sniffing at my door like one of those truffle hunting dogs. I can be all like chilling in my room when suddenly, I hear heavy panting, I look to the door, there is a wet nose and a patch of moisture where the condensation of her heavy breathing is forming on the floor. She’s found me out. There is no escape. I have to share. At this point if you don’t share you will be the all time worst housemate ever. While I support taking advantage of your housemate as much as you can, if you push it too far, living with them will just be shit. And you really don’t want that. Or do you?